I've talked about goals and choices. Now lets talk about excuses. When facilitating group therapy, when one person is offered a solution to their issue, often times that's followed by a "yea but..." and countless solutions follow and more "yea buts" come behind that. I implemented the "Yea But Jar." It's a swear jar that goes in the middle of us and each person that offers up an excuse to a goal or solution has to put something in the jar. While we don't play with money in a therapeutic setting, we do play the real game with time and money in our lives. While we can always make more money, we cannot create more time. And while we cannot create more time, time is also considered money in certain goals. Julia Cameron, author of The Artist Way, wrote “But do you know how old I will be by the time I learn to really play the piano / act / paint / write a decent play?" Yes . . . the same age you will be if you don't.”
When I wanted to go back to college, I created this fantastic excuse that I was too old go after my dreams. And that held me back for a few years. A friend of mine told me, "you're going to turn 40 with or without your degree." True story. What I really created was sitting in a place of feeling sorry for myself for not being smart enough, young enough, lucky enough, wise enough, brave enough... and our insecurities, don't benefit anyone. Not ourself and certainly not in the world. If we look at what we can contribute to the world, it moves the focus outside of ourself.
Another great quote I was told "someday is on the road to never." I learned that often times if you can't write it on the calendar, it is not in an existence system. And if we can't write it on a calendar, we are avoiding creation with a host of yea buts. Consider "yea but" you might just be enough and it might just be wonderful. Be brave and spend your years of "Yea but Jar" quarters on your dreams.