Who Supports Your Crazy?
In the social work/psychology realm we always ask the question "who are your natural supports" which is followed by "what?" Yea, I don't like that term either. What we should really just ask is, who has your back? When all comes tumbling down who do you call? I want you to gather some people in your head. Your besties, your backbone. The more people you have, the stronger you actually are. (If you're responding "I don't need anyone", that would be incorrect my friend. We are mammals, hard wired for connection.) When we get hurt, we push people away to protect ourself, which leads to sadness, which increases depression, which leads to isolation, and more depression... and how many more commas can I squeeze into a sentence?
Ok. So gather your list. Now, lets say you wake up tomorrow and you want to do something completely different with your life. Do you have a social network who is going to support you or tear your dreams apart? I want you to be aware, that our expectations often lay with the people we surround ourselves with. If you're struggling with drug addiction, you're probably not hanging out with a lot of people who are sober. If you want start a company, you're probably not excelling at this goal with a "support system" telling you are batshit everyday. When you listen to that still small voice inside of you, you need someone who is going to support you while you grow wings and learn to fly toward that goal. Often times we engage in this adorable thing called self-sabotage so we can stay connected to the people we are comfortable with. This occurs in partnerships, friendships, family networks. It's easy and comfortable. You develop an idea that others don't approve of, if you want to stay connected to your social network you will have to get rid of that goal. Forget about it, hide it, lie about it, keep it a secret. Now, I want you to be aware, secrets keep us small and contracted, they are something we are ashamed of, or we don't feel comfortable giving that information to specific sources based on sabotage and judgement. My homework for you, is to honor the idea of multiple networks. You want to take a trip, where's your crazy trip encourager friend? You want to start a business, where's your Capricorn friend who is no stranger to hard work? You want to go back to school? Who can support you there? You want to feel like shit about yourself, you know who you can call for that too, but that is not going to progress your life. Whether it's depression, recovery from addiction, recovering from trauma, creating a dream/desire/goal, you need a support system. Who can you attract into your life to reach for the stars?
I called this blog "Who Supports Your Crazy" cause chances are if you're reading a therapy article, you have some crazy makers in your life. Crazy can be considered crazy ideas to others/good idea for you, or unsupportive drama filled people that only make you crazy. When your life is filled with the latter, this is only a blog, so it's simple to state the obvious, the separation from the crazy makers needs to be inevitable and when you make that choice, you will then be free
to attract the people that are going to support the good crazy goals/ideas/ambitions. Namaste.